a valid excuse...lemon juice

ok, ok. i know i haven't written in a while, but seriously i have a great excuse. let me explain. basically i'm writing this for myself and the male big one. as we are the only two who read this thing anyway. i've seen him reading it and he laughs and laughs. sometimes while he is reading my musings i believe he might even have some genuine affection for me. which under normal circumstances would make me want to write more and more. you know how us dogs just love attention and affection? but that was before the latest lemon juice incident.

sometimes i bark. sometimes i don't. i don't see what is such a big deal about a little bark. but obviously he thinks its a major crisis. fuck him. he had the nerve to put me out on the porch, when there was company. you know how much i love company. get that little nub of a tail shaking. it's what i live for. so he thought i was getting a bit too rambunctious. it was all in fun. so he puts me out on the porch. i could hear all the fun, but i couldn't participate. they were eating for god sakes. how could he expect me to remain quiet? so i barked.

he growled something through the door. he must have been growling with his mouth full. i couldn't understand a word. so i barked again. this time he came outside. the look on his face made me nauseous. he had that stupid little yellow bottle in his hand. fuck him. i immediately sat down and gave him the eyes. his facial expression didn't change. he reached out and opened my mouth and squirted the tartness directly down my throat. fuck him.

i was pissed and emabarassed. so i barked. he came back out onto the porch with that stupid little yellow bottle. fuck him. he squirted again. fuck him.

so that is why i haven't written in so long. i don't want to provide him with even an ounce of joy. until he apologizes or hell freezes over. fuck him.